I knew I was pregnant weeks before it was confirmed by the test. I kept waking up at night with my body sweating and burning up with heat. Still, when I looked at the positive result in my hands, it was hard to believe.
I was thirty years old. I had been planning this for years, and I had factored in cushion time for conception. What actually happened was that I got pregnant on our first try, and the next phase of life was ON.
Everyone handles the competing demands of family and career differently. I knew that I wanted to be very involved with raising my children, but also that I had to keep pursuing my career.
My reason for this wasn’t purely financial; I don’t spend a lot of money, so I don’t need a lot. It was more about feeling valuable.
Feeling valuable just feels good. It’s not enough for me to contribute to my family. I want to contribute to the world, in a meaningful way, and be paid for my efforts. It feels so good to get better at things, and it feels even better to have an impact.
Aside from being emotionally rewarding, there’s something critical about being valuable that I want my kids to internalize: Constantly working on making yourself more valuable keeps you safe. It means that you can make money, buy food to eat, and pay for a place to live. It means that if you find yourself in a difficult position, you are more likely to have the skills and resources to extract yourself and your loved ones. It means that you will have the ability to develop and maintain productive relationships and a bright future.
For a while, I was worried about taking time off to have children. Would my brain rot? Would I dislike childcare, and thus, my life? Would I become obsolete after they grew up? Would my brain rot?
I’m not worried anymore. This is largely because I won’t really be taking time off to have children. I’ll still be working while having children, whether it’s on languages, writing, or consulting. I’ll also keep my attorney license current, so that I can get a job when my kids and I are ready.
Keeping business going while having children is a choice, and everyone does it a little differently. I did my best to work out a solution that makes me feel confident, because I’ve found that when I act out of confidence, things tend to turn out well.
I think that's why I made a plan to keep working on making myself more valuable. It makes me feel confident because it makes me feel safe.
How do you balance keeping your business going while having children?